Last Day

Seven years and three months in my first job... today it all came to a close.

Seven years and three months of history and experience and knowledge built up. Seven years and three months of doing all that I've ever known. Seven years and three months of watching this grow from a farm-with-a-few-classrooms and an office-in-a-hundred-year-homestead, to one of the biggest and best Christian schools in the state.

Would I be a nerd if I said that I'm going to miss working with the school database? I knew that program inside out like no one else, and spent most of the day recording instructions on how to roll over student subjects to the new year.

And organising my own last lunch party. I didn't take lunch today in the secret attempt that someone would feel sorry for me and ask me out to lunch. It didn't happen, so I organised noodle box for everyone. Speaking of which, I still don't know who paid for my lunch. Thank you, if you're reading this :)

It was a sad, strange day. So many friendships. So many relationships. So many good times. So much beauty. So much to leave behind.

So many memories. I look back, and recall my interview, and the questions I was asked. "If I gave you enough work to stay until 10pm every night, how would you respond?"

Homeschooled, innocent & naive, I had no idea how there could be that much work in a school office. What sort of work, anyway? I responded that I'd rather leave it, and come in early the next morning (little knowing that any workload large enough to keep until 10pm won't be cured by coming in 30 mins or even an hour earlier.)

When I started, I was so quiet and shy, I didn't know when to speak or what to say or how to express it. Some of the lovely ladies commented that they would soon get me out of my shell.  I responded, "What shell? I don't have a shell. This is me!"

I had no idea who I was. (I'm still learning.) I had no idea of boundaries. (I'm still learning.) My idea of being a good employ was working hard, working long, and keeping quiet. Even if expected to stay until 10pm. (I'm still growing in this, too!)

Thankfully, I soon learnt how to speak and how to express myself and how to laugh and to enjoy my work environment and time with my colleagues. I learnt when it is reasonable to be at work until 10pm (it maybe happened on the nights we had special functions and information evenings) and how to delegate work. And I rarely, if ever, got to work early.

More often, especially of late with struggling with fatigue and sickness, I got to work quite late. This morning, I was a full hour late. (You only blog these things after you've resigned!)

Yet still, the Lord took that time to minister to me. I was hurtling down the road, barely able to see 50metres in front of me because of the dust, one hand on the steering wheel, the other holding my spoon, breakfast bowl balanced between my knees. How often have I done this, 100km/h on this dirt & dusty road, trying not to spill my breakfast (have you ever seen rice porridge spilt on black skirt? Not pretty) and anxiously eying the time?

Then it hit me. With a lump in my throat, I realised, this would be the last time I'd drive down this road. Perhaps I would visit, but never would it be the same. This road, this daily beauty would become a thing of history.

The gum trees bending to create an arbour green across my path...

The tractor cutting grass along the road side...

The cows, calm, serene, unfazed by the rush of western civilisation... just simply there... eating grass, I guess...

The paddocks, illuminate green in winter, sunburnt brown in summer...

The light, the sunlight, bouncing off the leaves, reflecting the very glory of heaven...

Yes, I will continue to see, but this beauty, I had so taken for granted, will no longer be part of my daily rush. There will be other beauties to behold, yet have I fully appreciated what was mine, for just this chapter of life?

How often do I rush, thinking only of the time and the destination, and fail to be in the moment and enjoy the journey?

Has my time in this job being merely that, a job, or has it been a journey?

Seven years and three months, not of weeks and days of work, but of moments and experiences that have moulded me and changed me and grown me.

It has been a journey. A very very wonderful journey.

This afternoon, as always long after I should have gone home, I closed down my favourite database for the last time. As always, it asked the standard computer question which I had never given a moment's notice to. Until today. It jabbed me sharply, as if it, a simple program, knew.

"Are you sure you want to quit?"

Yes, although it's painful, I'm sure. The next stage of my journey is about to begin. I am sad to say goodbye, but I am excited about the next chapter God is unfolding.

And He shall continue to open my eyes to the beauty of this journey.

Pics: The road, the journey, to my workplace; roses, gardens & sounds of my work home for all these years; sunset and farms and hay sheds on the way home tonight