The earth quakes.
This earth, the dust that I am, quakes also.
Earthquakes have a way of producing fear. Fear I knew I oughtn't have. Fear that I tried to fight, tried to reason with, tried to push away.
It took honesty. Admitting my struggles. Asking myself why, what was it that caused me to be so shaken?
This power. Earth moving and shuddering. Ground that had always been solid, sure, wasn't supposed to rock this way.
Could my God, who was always so loving and kind, really be this powerful? So strong? Was this a glimpse of the wrath He could inflict? Try as I might, I couldn't reconcile it in my mind. How could a God so powerful as to shake the ground beneath my feet, ever love me?
Calvary. It all came back to Calvary. His wrath was satisfied there, and I being in Him and He in me, He only has love towards me. The sheer weight of that revelation brought tears to my eyes. Such power was only out-weighed by such amazing, divine, relentless, powerful, intense and beautiful love.
He loves me. And that is enough.
Peace prevails. Peace, not as the world gives. Peace that the world cannot understand or take away. Peace that passeth understanding. In the midst of the storm. In the midst of the hundreds of aftershocks that followed, peace was, and still is, my portion.
It has now been a month, or more accurately, five weeks, since I arrived in Aotearoa, the beautiful land of the long white cloud.
If the absence of my posts is any indication, it has been one of the most exciting, eventful and challenging months of my life. Picked up and transported to a city that was only just recovering from the effects of two major earthquakes the year before, I too faced the challenges of rebuilding after leaving all that was familiar behind.
And yet, even though far from home, I have never felt more at home, more at peace, and more content. The Lord has confirmed over and over this is where He would have me be for this season, and I rejoice in His provision.
The first ground tremor came within hours of landing. New address and drivers licence and revenue number and bank accounts were all sorted in the first week. Just six days after landing, I attended orientation day at the beautiful university campus. I found my way around, met people and made friends.
Five days later, I attended my first lectures. I completed a full day and a half of uni.
Then the earthquake struck. I can't deny that I am one of the lucky ones. Or perhaps blessed would be a better word. I was at uni, and I was outside. It impacted me so little, I thought it was perhaps another tremor, and life would carry on as usual. Sheltered from reality, I had no idea of the terror that was unfolding just down the road. Indeed, I was amazed by the reaction of family and friends, phone calls from Australia, emails from the United States, asking if I was ok, begging me to come home.
That afternoon, I visited friends. We sat and shared testimonies and fellowshipped around the Word. The atmosphere was intensely loving and peaceful even in the midst of powerful aftershocks. By the time I left, I felt as though I had been in the presence of God for four hours, not in an earthquake zone.
I spent eleven days in the North Island, attending a youth camp, visiting friends and sightseeing. All the time I felt homesick, not for Melbourne, but for Christchurch, ground tremors and all. I wanted to be at home. I wanted to do something to help.
Once I arrived back, I assisted the Student Volunteer Army. For a day and a half. And gained a lovely blister on my hand from shovelling silt. I wanted to do more, but it was all I was able to do. Operations have now wound up. We're back at uni. In tents. With porta-loos. Lectures are much more interesting that way.
Even with its destruction, Christchurch is still one of the most beautiful cities I have ever visited. The atmosphere is perhaps more sombre than usual, and yet still has the relaxed and easy going Cantabrian feel that first drew me here.
Yes, I'm staying :)
This earth, the dust that I am, quakes also.
Earthquakes have a way of producing fear. Fear I knew I oughtn't have. Fear that I tried to fight, tried to reason with, tried to push away.
It took honesty. Admitting my struggles. Asking myself why, what was it that caused me to be so shaken?
This power. Earth moving and shuddering. Ground that had always been solid, sure, wasn't supposed to rock this way.
Could my God, who was always so loving and kind, really be this powerful? So strong? Was this a glimpse of the wrath He could inflict? Try as I might, I couldn't reconcile it in my mind. How could a God so powerful as to shake the ground beneath my feet, ever love me?
Calvary. It all came back to Calvary. His wrath was satisfied there, and I being in Him and He in me, He only has love towards me. The sheer weight of that revelation brought tears to my eyes. Such power was only out-weighed by such amazing, divine, relentless, powerful, intense and beautiful love.
He loves me. And that is enough.
Peace prevails. Peace, not as the world gives. Peace that the world cannot understand or take away. Peace that passeth understanding. In the midst of the storm. In the midst of the hundreds of aftershocks that followed, peace was, and still is, my portion.
It has now been a month, or more accurately, five weeks, since I arrived in Aotearoa, the beautiful land of the long white cloud.
If the absence of my posts is any indication, it has been one of the most exciting, eventful and challenging months of my life. Picked up and transported to a city that was only just recovering from the effects of two major earthquakes the year before, I too faced the challenges of rebuilding after leaving all that was familiar behind.
And yet, even though far from home, I have never felt more at home, more at peace, and more content. The Lord has confirmed over and over this is where He would have me be for this season, and I rejoice in His provision.
The first ground tremor came within hours of landing. New address and drivers licence and revenue number and bank accounts were all sorted in the first week. Just six days after landing, I attended orientation day at the beautiful university campus. I found my way around, met people and made friends.
Five days later, I attended my first lectures. I completed a full day and a half of uni.
Then the earthquake struck. I can't deny that I am one of the lucky ones. Or perhaps blessed would be a better word. I was at uni, and I was outside. It impacted me so little, I thought it was perhaps another tremor, and life would carry on as usual. Sheltered from reality, I had no idea of the terror that was unfolding just down the road. Indeed, I was amazed by the reaction of family and friends, phone calls from Australia, emails from the United States, asking if I was ok, begging me to come home.
That afternoon, I visited friends. We sat and shared testimonies and fellowshipped around the Word. The atmosphere was intensely loving and peaceful even in the midst of powerful aftershocks. By the time I left, I felt as though I had been in the presence of God for four hours, not in an earthquake zone.
I spent eleven days in the North Island, attending a youth camp, visiting friends and sightseeing. All the time I felt homesick, not for Melbourne, but for Christchurch, ground tremors and all. I wanted to be at home. I wanted to do something to help.
Once I arrived back, I assisted the Student Volunteer Army. For a day and a half. And gained a lovely blister on my hand from shovelling silt. I wanted to do more, but it was all I was able to do. Operations have now wound up. We're back at uni. In tents. With porta-loos. Lectures are much more interesting that way.
Even with its destruction, Christchurch is still one of the most beautiful cities I have ever visited. The atmosphere is perhaps more sombre than usual, and yet still has the relaxed and easy going Cantabrian feel that first drew me here.
Yes, I'm staying :)
Yesterday was memorial day. We watched the presentation online. Very moving, particularly as it is so close to home and affected so many people, and the assistance efforts were just amazing. Kia kaha Chirstchurch. Stay strong.
Guilt surrounds. Why am I safe, warm, dry and comfortable? I am healthy and well. I have electricty and running water. Why wasn't I able to do more to help?
Then comes the news of the destruction in Japan. War in the Ivory Coast. Unrest in Liberia.
And I am sheltered. I have seen little of the damage in Christchurch. I don't have a heroic story to tell. I don't have photos to share. Photos such as these, that make it more real. I look back on the pictures I took during my last visit to Christchurch, and am again overwhelmed by the beauty and grandeur of this city. The city that is no longer.
Today I drove past St Peters, the church pictured at the beginning of this post.
Even though the ground shakes, and buildings crumble, I am safe in His everlasting arms. The only safe place is under the shadow of His wings. And that is enough. I am content and at peace.
He is so wonderful. He is all that is true and dependable. And I have learnt to lean on Him.
For here have we no continuing city, but we seek one to come. Hebrews 13:14
More photos from my time in New Zealand
"Such power was only out-weighed by such amazing, divine, relentless, powerful, intense and beautiful love."
ReplyDeleteBeautiful...
And there is NOTHING stronger.
my dear, sweet sister-in-Him. this post has brought me to tears. and as i can only imagine the feeling of an earthquake beneath my feet, your experience and your *trust* in Him gives me courage as i face my own, not as physical tremors.
ReplyDeletei am praying for you - half way around the world. praying as you adjust, as you grow, as you find your place in a new country.
i am so, so glad that our blogs crossed. i look forward to traveling this new journey with you.
love to you, dear aly.
dear aly,
ReplyDeleteyou have been so heavily on my heart these last few days. i find myself praying for you often. know that you are thought of and cared for.
praying for peace.
with love,
Dear Kimberly, I am so sorry! I didn't realise you'd left a comment, that needed moderating! I don't recall receiving an email. Somehow I think blogger settings have changed during my absence from blogland! Please forgive me for being so neglectful!
ReplyDeleteAll is well. I am safe and happy, just very busy. Thank you so much for praying. The Lord is so faithful and mindful! I have been enjoying reading your posts, but in my neglect, haven't commented. I hope to be more diligent in the near future.
Love and God's richest blessings to you.